Sunday, 15 January 2017


When I said I want to live peacefully. I mean it. I do really mean and try to achieve it especially in this 2017.

The world is full of good people. I want to be like them and dance among them. Happiness is in our air. I want to breath them. Inhale then exhale it with happier feeling than before. On some occasion, I would also accept the moments of sadness and sorrow wholeheartedly because these moments make us a complete human being. 

I am going to study passionately and went home gladly. I want to read good books until sleepiness took over my eyes. I want to listen to good songs until sleepiness took over my ears. I am going to sleep with ultimate calmness and see the exciting dream within it and wake up with phospene which is beautiful. 

I will go out more frequently with family and those good people of mine and laugh out loud again and again. I will see more strangers and turn them to friends. I want to store some memories on their mind as they store theirs in mine.

When my introversion needs time, I will give myself a space and time of its own. I will go to the brownish cafe to see the pouring rain by the window. I will go travel by train to nearby town. I will pack my bags and fly to places I have never been and see how people there do their everyday life.

But the world is also filled with people who like to do the opposite of happiness. Those who hate others by their personal reason. I have a chance to defend myself or to epxlain to them about my point of view. But as I previously said that I want to live peacefully so I will explain them my point of view only if it is needed.

If any people try to bring me down, I will thank them and take lesson from it.Then I will dive among it smilingly and jump upon it and let them busy with their negativity.

I will eat with good responsibility because health is one of our biggest investation. Do some personal exercise to turn the endorphins out and decrease the stress level. In some day I will run with pride but in other day I will meditate with humility. Meditatation brings us a pure sense of happiness and a clear state of mind.

I will write a letter to my family, lover, friends, favorite authors, and especially to myself. I will write a journal to keep the memories of my life not vanishing. I will thanking God for the good moments and thanking God also for the unfortunate moments. I will hug them all as a uncomplete pieces of my puzzles.

Dear, 20-17: Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening.

Monday, 26 December 2016

Tentang 3 tahun dalam suatu deskripsi pohon.

Lihatlah itu: pohon tentang kita.

Pohon yang tentang kita itu, akarnya sudah mulai memeluk erat tanah yang lumayan dalam. Entah setampan atau secantik apapun orang yang mencoba mencabut, mendobrak, dan meruntuhkannya, mungkin malah jatuh tersungkur karena akar kuat yang sama-sama kita bina.

Begitulah tentang kita. Selalu akan ada orang yang lebih tampan atau lebih cantik, selalu ada orang yang mungkin tampak lebih baik, tetapi kali ini, aku hanya ingin kamu seperti kamu ingin aku. Bukan yang lain.

Lihatlah itu: pohon tentang kita.

Dedaunan yang hijau dan menenangkan. Tiga tahun kita menumbuhkannya untuk menaungi diri kita berdua. Kita berlindung dari hujan dibawahnya. Kita bersembunyi dari terik dibawahnya. Dan diantara hujan dan terik kita akan menikmatinya bersama. Entah dengan bersama-sama bercanda atau berbarengan menyetel melodi melankoli,  dibawah pohon itu kita bersama-sama akan membunuh musuh kita yang utama, yaitu, waktu.

Lihatlah itu: pohon tentang kita.

Ia meranggas dan meninggalkan dedaunan yang mengering menjadi cokelat. Ia jadi pohon kaku yang membosankan. Saat itu terjadi, ingatlah bahwa ia hanya sedang mengikuti musim hingga ia bisa kembali menjadi hijau yang menenangkan. Saat itu terjadi, aku akan menyelami duniaku sendiri seperti kamu yang sedang merenda duniamu. Kita semua butuh kesendirian untuk sejenak mendengar kata hati sendiri-sendiri. Namun, bersama-sama kita akan dipertemukan oleh sahabat kita yang utama, yaitu, waktu.

Lihatlah itu: pohon tentang kita.

Kita merasakan sakit hati. Kita menyakiti dan disakiti. Ada goresan yang mungkin mematahkan ranting-ranting dalam pohon kita. Namun, demikianlah guna sakit hati. Dari ranting terjatuh, yang kita semai dengan air mata dan kata maaf itu, timbul akar baru yang bisa menjadi cikal bakal pohon-pohon baru.

Lihatlah itu: pohon tentang kita.

Kita menyemainya dengan emosi yang kita miliki. Hingga akarnya meresap makin memeluk tanah dan pucuknya menari melambai ke bawah langit. Dan perlahan pohon itu menciptakan pohon-pohon lainnya. Hingga terciptalah hutan tentang kita.

Lihatlah disana: hutan tentang kita.

Karena kisah kita sudah tak muat bila diumpakan seperti pohon belaka. Maka mulai kini kuceritakan cinta kita ibarat hutan. Karena kisah kita sudah cukup luas dengan beraneka ini itu dan apa-apa lainnya. Karena sampai esok, pohon-pohon disana masih akan tumbuh dan melindungi kita berdua. Kita menghidupi hutan itu dan dihidupi olehnya.

Dan kita akan tak lelah untuk selalu menjaga hal-hal tentang cinta tersebut.

Tiga tahun. Awal yang singkat untuk cerita yang lebih lama. Selamat ulang tahun dan selamat tiga tahun. Aku berdoa yang baik-baik untuk aku, kamu, kita, dan tentang hutan kita tadi. 

Monday, 28 November 2016

Endorphinic Raindrops

Friendship is one of the most precious thing in the world. Aristotle, Confucius, or any other philosophers agree that friendship has a strong connection to human hapiness. I’ve been knowing how is it to grow as a friendless human being. It was painful. Years ago I was so afraid what if I enter the gate of adulthood without a good friend. But Thank God I guess somehow I already had them. 

Last weekend, my bros, Bagaskara dan Bumi were visiting Yogyakarta only for one day. We wanted to spend more time but hell yeah we were kinda busy. Altough it was only a short moment, but we were happy anyway.

I had to do some hospital chores so I ended up meeting them around seven in the evening. They spent the day on a hotel near Malioboro because they like to have some series of long footsteps among the streets there. I met them on a new coffee shop near Tugu Yogyakarta. We sat on the outside so we could see the rain that filled the air of the city.

We ordered coffee. I drank the black one with no sugar while Bagaskara had a hot espresso and Bumi had the cappuccino. We laughed as we finished our order. Haha how time does change ours! In our previous years, Bagas was the only person to order a coffee because I was a tea person and Bumi almost always drink a milk back then. But look at us now, adulthood serve us with the need of caffeine dose each day to make us alive.

We shared stories on that hours. About my sleepless pediatric residency (they condolence me so bad since they know I always need a proper time of sleep) and about Bagaskara’s interview on Oil company and Bumi’s plan to work on Education Minisry (they finally finished their study in UK and currently a qualified jobseeker).

As it was near midnight and coffee still could not heal our sleepy feeling, we were saying goodbye. We took a picture of our long lost reunion and headed back to our place.

I walked home under my umbrella. It was still raining in Yogyakarta. I was so happy. Feels like each of the raindrop was filled with endorphin. And I am thanking God for this particular friendship.

Have the best of luck and see you until I see you again, Bro.

Sunday, 10 July 2016

An Important Sentimental Thought.

One day on a bench of Senayan park when my friend and I were doing some evening sport, we were talking about how we loved our parents so much. I knew that it was actually an ordinary subject to discuss but at that moment, we really feel that at our adulthood age, our love towards our parents grew deeper until it rooted in our daily life.

We both agreed that nowadays, every time we would like to do something bad, we re-concern whether it would break our parents heart. On the other hand, we also inspired to do more productive things simply not to make our lives better but also to make their lives better too.

Our parents are already old now. They are no more productive and they believe their dreams mostly on their children. My mother gave up most of her life struggling for my education and living. I could say that I am her only chance to make her proud since I am an only child. I am nothing without her, literally. Her prayers are my lucky charms.

That evening, my friend and I had a very sentimental chat and we came with a conclusion:

Bagas: "So, Dam, aren't we agree about what is faster than the speed of sound or light?"
Damar: "Absolutely. The only thing that faster than the speed of sound or light is a mother's prayer towards her child"
Bagas: "I-n-d-e-e-d, bro"

Today is my mother's birthday

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Eid 2016

Sometimes I knew I was such an asshole and so ignorant. Sometimes I did not reply text messages. I am a bad person. How am I so ungrateful to have you guys.

On this Eid, I would like to present my deepest apology to those important good people that have been so kind to me so far. I am thanking God that you guys are still be there for me always, no matter how sucks I am. I need you guys, always and forever.

Happy Eid Greetings. 
May life brings us more good things ahead. 
I love you all

Sunday, 3 July 2016

2nd Semester

You're entering second semester.
Congratulations, Damar!

Sunday, 26 June 2016


Rasa itu bisa ditemukan diantara sekelompok manusia muda yang meliuk berdentam seiring hentakan musik di diskotik.
Atau diantara jarak 30 cm antara dua manusia tua yang membaca sunyi di kedai kopi.
Beberapa menemukan rasa itu dalam gemuruh euforik bagai kembang api yang meletup secara orgasmik.
Beberapa menemukannya dalam keheningan yang dalam seperti meditasi yang dilakukan dalam keheningan serupa palung samudera.
Ada banyak cara bersahabat.
Namun, semuanya punya rasa yang serupa.
Wahai kalian: sahabat-sahabat yang telah baik luar biasa kepada saya, terima kasih telah singgah dalam gemerlap dan keheningan hidup ini.