I
used to be frequently depressed and insecure back when I was a university
student and clerkship because sometimes, I can’t get the meaning of what I read
on textbooks easily. Usually, after I read something, I don’t get the point,
and when it comes to tomorrow, I’m kinda forgetful. This really made me
depressed and insecure. I mean, I have read the books and journals with all my
heart and concentration, but still I can’t remember it easily (“ah, kok gue
nggak tau, padahal gue udah baca. Ah, kemaren kan gue udah baca, kok bisa lupa
masalah ini”). While, my roommate was a super smart person, who almost never
read a book or only once in a week, but he just seems to know anything. Sigh.
But,
it was just a story of yesterdays. Nowadays, still, sometimes I don’t remember
easily things I read, but I almost never found myself in such insecurity like I
used to be. This is because a very good person, and many people think he is the
smartest Anesthesiology resident on my hospital, Mr. Darma Putra. It was a day
after my night shift, like a sleeping walk zombie on a surgery, He tested me
several random question, some was good answered, but several are totally
unanswered, I told him, “Sigh, the fact is I already read it twice”, and he
replied like this:
“Read a lot. If you cannot understand
it once, read it twice. If you still cannot understand it twice, read it three
times. If you still cannot understand it three times, read it ten times. It is
not your problem if you see other people are so good that they can understand
when they read it only once. It’s their gift, and it is your responsibility and
privilege to read it more than one time. Read it, have perseverance”
Those
words he said still cling on my mind and I think it’s going to last for my
entire life. He probably doesn’t remember what he said that day, but it changed
my life and perspective positively. I once read a quote that good words are
long lasting and life changing. Now, I don’t have the reason not to believe it.
Thanks, Doc.
