Skipped Prayers

Several these weeks, I feel some kind of a hole sensation in my days. In my definition, a hole sensation is a sense of emptiness without knowing what is actually made you feel like that. These past few weeks, I did my work, my extra jobs, my book reading, and so on but passionless. I think about it over and over again and found out that this thing is caused by my incomplete five times prayers.

I have to admit that I do lose some of my prayer times these several weeks. Sometimes it's because of I was on a trip, sometimes because of traffic, or sometimes, which made me super sad, is due to lack of intention.

Late at night when I go to sleep, I feel a different version of me talking to my own self and asking how many times do I skip prayer today and why. Then I sleep with preoccupied mind as a sinful person.

More than that, I frequently feel ashamed.

I see back on my life that how Allah SWT gave me so many blessings. How could God be so kind to me but I did not thank God enough by simply doing prayer on time. 

 My responsibility is simply doing five times prayers that take so little time, compare to eternal bliss that Allah SWT has given to me. 

God, Allah SWT, forgive me.

Educated Anger

Many fights and anger are useless. There are no certain points about it. Most of them are pure uncontrollable emotion. Film it, then people will laugh at it. In our house, in our school in our office, or maybe on the street, especially streets on Jakarta, where things are-yeah, you know how it is like, we are invited to some kind of useless fights.

I once had a long dinner with my bestfriend, Bhagaskara, and he said this between our coffee talks:

“Dam, I have a degree in Architecture, and you are a doctor. We have that some added letters on our names, I have that ST on my back, and you have that Dr. before your name. It is obvious that we are educated person, so act educated. There are many useless and stupid fights out there. And everyday you might have the invitation, but you can choose whether you join or refuse being involved in such a pointless fight. We spend our years of education to what we are now, so use our anger in important issues and use it with an educated way of anger” 

21-22

This is Fathanisa Isnani. Just like the meaning of her name, she wants to open the heart of other people around her, and it seems like it is working. She always has a place in almost everything she's into. She is my paired None back then on Abang None Jakarta Barat 2013 competition. We ended up together being the top 3 so we were being sent to the Abang None Jakarta 2013. 

The best thing about her is she is so supportive. Not only to me as her paired abang, but also to all other contestant. She is positive, witty, and I swear that on our tiring quarantine that lasted for two months, I never heard she complaint. That is one thing that I learn from her. 

She is a psychologist and currently pursuing her degree on Psychometric concentration. Well, thank you Fathanisa, It's been a pleasure to know you. Good luck in your life! Friends forever, Fats!

Addicted

Everytime I hug you, 

there's an electrical sparks that rush to my heart

and gave me indescribable happiness. 

Everytime we laugh together, I feel relaxed.

I don't know whether you're a valium or a narcotics,

but I'm addicted to you.